I love birds sitting on wires. Now I’m sitting here thinking, ‘Why would I start my first blog post with a Deep Thoughts by Jack Handy type of sentence?’ But it’s true! I love birds sitting on a wire! And this picture describes how I’ve been feeling lately: being still and in rapid motion at the same time.
I’ve always looked at birds sitting on a wire with anticipation and excitement. At any moment they can take off or a friend can land on the same wire and sit with them. They are on the verge of flying. It’s so simple, I know. But to me, at least right now, it means so much. Looking back at my most favorite moments in life, the common thread is appreciating the temporary. Never missing a moment to acknowledge that life changes and there are times when you need to sit on a wire and other times when you hold your breath and try those wings out.
For a long time now, I’ve felt like I’ve been on the edge of something really big. At times that’s felt like just being on edge. Or I’ve felt like I was on the ridge of a dark canyon. Because of that and for lots of other reasons, I decided to quit my job, pack up, and move to New York City. I felt that it was time for me to go after a goal that I’ve had for the last decade but I’ve always made excuses and not allowed it to happen.
I struggled for a long time making the decision to quit. My job had become unbearable and I had crumbled down to a person I didn’t really recognize anymore. I wavered on so many thoughts: being irresponsible, wanting to move to a city where I felt more of my creative and inspired self was on the surface, choosing to be unemployed in this economy, knowing that I’ve always landed on my feet when I trusted myself, figuring out how to stay afloat, taking advantage of the time and space that I had, disappointing my parents, and, of course, making a mistake. While sorting through all those thoughts, I struggled to see a clear path. Instead, it seemed like the path was unfolding for me and once I took the blinders off, I was already half way down and about to take the leap. Once I made the decision an incredible weight was lifted. It was the first time in over a year where I felt like I was taking care of myself. It felt amazing. I felt revived.
I am still coming to terms with making such a big decision and the worry and fear that has flooded my thoughts. But I’m trying to focus on the bigger picture. I stole this quote from one of my best friends’ blog when she quit her job, I love it:
“Don’t ask yourself what the world needs. Ask yourself what makes you come alive and then go do that. Because what the world needs is people who have come alive.”
I am excited about this chapter in my life. I don’t know how it’s all going to play out but the decision to move forward is a great beginning. Ready. Set. Go: March 17th, one way ticket to NYC!